Teacher: Yes ?
You: Can I ask you something ?
Teacher: Sure, go on.
You: Would you punish me for something that I didn't do at all ?
Teacher: Of course not.
You: Good, I didn't do my homework :D
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TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is !
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria !
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TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign ?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow.."
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables !
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile ?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe its wrong, but you asked me how I spell it !
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TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water ?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O !!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me !
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TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty ?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't
punish him ?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog !
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TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested ?
HAROLD : A teacher
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