Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits and falls down on the floor.

Wife pulls him up and cleans everything. Next day when he gets up he expects her to be really angry with him. He prays that they should not have a fight.

He finds a note near the table, "Honey..your favorite breakfast is ready on the table, i had to leave early to buy grocery... i'll cum running back to you, my love. I love you. ... "
 

He gets surprised and asks his son, 'what happened last night ?'

Son told, "when mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt.. you were dead drunk and you said......""Hey Lady ! Leave Me Alone... I AM Married and i love my wife go away !!!"" 

 :) :)

I Love You Not because of Anything You Have,

 but Because of Something That I Feel When I'm Near You.

This Is One Of Best Thought

Ever Dedicating To Every SINGLE...

Enjoy Your Life As Much As You Can,

As Single

Because

To Become Single Again Is Very PAINFUL.. !

.:: BEAUTIFUL REMINDER ::.

1 ● The most selfish one letter word "I"... ► Avoid it
2 ● The most satisfying two-letter word "WE"... ► Use it
3 ● The most poisonous three-letter word "EGO"... ► Kill it
4 ● The most used four-letter word "LOVE"... ► Value it
5 ● The most pleasing five-letter word "SMILE"... ► Keep it
6 ● The fastest spreading six-letter word "RUMOUR"... ► Ignore it
7 ● The hardest working seven-letter word "SUCCESS"... ► Achieve it
8 ● The most enviable eight-letter word "JEALOUSY"... ► Distance it
9 ● The most powerful nine-letter word "KNOWLEDGE"... ► Acquire it

Seorang pria, bernama Tono diajukan ke pengadilan karena terbukti membawa lari sepeda motor teman kencannya.

Inilah kutipan pembelaan Tono di pengadilan :

“Saya tidak mencuri motor itu Pak Hakim. Gadis itu sudah memberikannya dengan ikhlas”, kata Tono dengan suara memelas.

Tono melanjutkan, “Kami berkenalan, menjadi akrab lalu berjalan-jalan pakai sepeda motornya ke taman yang sepi."

"Kemudian setelah kami parkir, gadis itu berbisik di telingaku , ‘ambillah milikku yang paling berharga’, sambil dia membuka semua pakaiannya, terus lari masuk semak-semak," tambah Tono.

"Aku pikir, daripada baju dan celananya, kurasa lebih berharga sepeda motornya. Iya kan Pak Hakim…?!”

=D =D.

Satpam Sok Tahu

  

Seorang nenek dengan seorang gadis (cucunya) berada di Stasiun Kereta Api Cirebon. Menunggu kereta jurusan Surabaya lama sekali, padahal sudah jamnya belum datang juga. Karena kebelet mau BAB, si gadis pamitan sama neneknya pergi ke WC.

Tak lama kemudian kereta yang ditunggu datang, si nenek kelimpungan cari-cari cucunya. Apalagi ketika diumumkan kereta mau berangkat lagi, semakin panik si nenek, takut cucunya ketinggalan. 

Seorang Satpam KA melihat kepanikan si nenek, kereta sudah mulai bergerak, si nenek tambah panik, teriak-teriak panggil cucunya. Satpam KA dengan sigap mengangkat si nenek dan dinaikkan ke kereta yg sudah berjalan lambat.

Tak lama si gadis datang, celingak-celinguk cari-cari si nenek. Kemudian bertanya sama Satpam tadi, "Pak, lihat nenek saya tadi disini ..?"

Satpam : "Yang pakai kebaya biru, Neng?"

Gadis : "Iya.." Mengangguk.

Satpam : "Tenang, Neng. Sudah saya naikkan kereta tadi...kasihan hampir saja ketinggalan.... Si Eneng ini gimana, kereta sudah mau berangkat neneknya malah ditinggal, untung ada saya..."

Gadis (kaget) : "Apa???? Yang mau berangkat itu saya.... nenek saya cuma ngantar ke stasiun...." Si gadis terduduk lemas.

Satpam : "Hah...!!!!!!"

Seorang suami sdg SEKARAT, ditemani istrinya yg duduk d samping tempat tidur :
 

SUAMI: "Ma...maafkn papa, tmn baikmu RIKA...dia juga istri papa..."
ISTRI: "gak apa2 pah...mama dah tau..."
 

SUAMI: "papa juga mmperistri tmn sekantormu SINTA ..."
ISTRI: "mama tau kok paaaaaa..... !!"
 

SUAMI: "terakhir.... papa juga nikah sm NIA, pembantu kita...."
ISTRI: "sudahlah pa...mama udah tau smuanya.
Sekarang papa tenang aja.....biarkan RACUN nya BEKERJA ....."
[н̲̅α̲̅]=D=))[н̲̅α̲̅] [н̲̅α̲̅]=D=))[н̲̅α̲̅][н̲̅α̲̅] [н̲̅α̲̅]

Most of our problems are due to one of two reasons:
- We act without thinking
- We think without acting

Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You have a dream! You have to protect it. 

When people can't do something themselves, they are going to tell you that you can't do it. 

You want something...GO GET IT !

Trust the one who can see these 3 things in you: 

SORROW behind your smile ; 

LOVE behind your anger ; and 

MEANING behind your silence !

SMILE and let everyone know, that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday !

We are all responsible for our own destiny, success, happiness and turn those negatives into positives!

Life is too short , the journey too long, the experience too unforgettable to waste it on the boat of negativity!

 

It's really amazing how one song can change your mood, thoughts and emotions.

be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare to do anything, be that independent girl who didn't need a man, be that girl who never backed down !

I believe that we are who we choose to be.

Nobody's going to come and save you, you've got to save yourself. Nobody's going to give you anything. You've got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except for you. And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it.

So don't give up on your dreams.

Don't shed your tears for someone who hurt you... Don't long for that person if they left... Don't feel sorry if you failed when you tried your best... and Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.

Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.

Missing someone isn't about how long its been since you've seen them last or the amount of time since you've talked. 
It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you

Signs you are falling in love

♥ Seven signs your falling in love ♥

7. You'll read their texts over and over again

6. You'll walk really really slow while you r with them

5. They become all you think about

4. You'll get high just by their smell

3. You'll realize that you're always smiling, when you think about them

2. You'll do anything for them

1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time


-o0o-

12 signs that proves you are in love

12. You’ll read his/her texts over and over again…
11. You’ll walk really really slow while you’re with him/her…
10. You’ll pretend 2 be shy whenever you’re with him/her…
9. While thinking bout him/her…your heart will beat faster and faster…
8. By listening to his/her voice…you’ll smile for no reason.
7. While looking at him/her..you cant see the other people around you… you can only see that person…
6. You’ll start listening to SLOW songs.
5. He/She becomes all you think about...
4. You’ll get high just by their smell…
3. You’ll realize that you’re always smiling to yourself when you think about them..
2. You’ll do anything for him/her…
1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time…..

--------------- -Girls---------
-----------are like apples------
-------on trees. The best ones-----
-----are at the top of the tree.-----
---The boys don't want to reach---
--for the good ones because they--
-are afraid of falling and getting hurt.-
-Instead, they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something wrong with them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just--
--have to wait for the right boy to
--- come along, the one who's-
----------- brave enough to-----
--------------- climb all---------
--------------- the way------
--------------to the top----
--------------of the tree ----

Maybe, it's not about trying to fix something broken, maybe it's about starting over, and creating something better.♥

As a Child, YOU did not Quit...YOU tried...YOU stood...YOU walked. Why should YOU quit now?

I wish people would be honest and say :

"Hey, I'm coming into your life but I have no intentions of staying long, so don't get too attached !!"

Be miserable, or motivate yourself. 

Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.